I HATE When People Say This...

Now this is not just a pet peeve. It's a life long pet peeve, because regardless of how much it drives me up the wall I will most likely encounter it the rest of my days. I am not a white girl trapped in a black girls body. I am a strong, independent, educated black woman. Style, diction, and education knows no race.When people call me a white girl, or say that I am "the whitest girl they know". This to me is highly offensive, it is a pejorative term that in my eyes holds implications that I am a sell out. For some this pejorative comment has become non-pejorative only because it has been used so much it has become desensitized. This in no way makes it right, or makes it any less offensive. Now these aren't fighting words. I hear it, I wouldn't say a lot. But I would definitely say enough. Not only is it offensive to me, but it is offensive to urban black people as well. It's implies that my race is not capable of being the things that I am. It implies that because I am acting white, which would mean I am not really black therefore acceptable. I LOVE being black, I love my skin, I love the fact that I will age well;), I love my hair, I love my culture. There is nothing I would change about my race. I am proud to be who I am.

Well obviously you can't act like a skin color. Skin is nothing more than a shield to keep the essentials in, and the bad stuff out. Skin tone varies greatly. You have freckles, redness, birth marks. Lots of  things even inside of a race that can set your individual skin tone apart from the rest. So what do people mean when they say some black people "act white" ? Let me take this moment to preface this by saying, everyone of almost every race has said this to me. It is mainly white people, but black people as well and other races sometimes too. So, what does it mean? Well most recently the other day I was talking to one of my best friends on the phone and she said something to the extent of, "oh Allie you're so white". I wish she could of seen my face. When people say this I definitely don't get enraged, I try not to let anything bother me that much. It definitely irritates me, it bothers me, annoys me, gets on my last nerve. It makes me shake my head, and roll my eyes.

I asked her why she thinks I act white, like what was it that despite my skin tone she still liked to see me as a white girl. She said, "well you shop at H&M, and you're classy". -_- Sigh. Face palm. I love her but really? Whenever people say this, my first reaction is typically that I want to ask them, "are you stupid?". That class that she pointed out that I had typically prevents me doing so. I have been know for my brazen comments, and lack of filter. But sometimes I just don't feel like the fight, and I just simply can't be bothered with such idiocy. When white people call black people "white". They typically are referring to speech, and dress. Which leads me to ask, how does the way you dress and speak determine your race. Believe me I'm not dumb, deaf, or blind. I am well aware that there are traits that are associated with certain races.  the I don't personally think I sound like a valley girl, I think I speak proper English. I love fashion to the fullest extent, I take pride in standing out with my fashion sense, and I try to be unique as possible. I don't identify with any specific fashion sense, and I definitely don't think I dress in a racial way. See how stupid that sounds when you start to talk about it.

I really don't want to jump back to the 60's, but I will say that we have come a long way since then. Working in customer service my whole working life, BELIEVE ME ghetto has NO race. On the contrary high levels of social status, that are associated with class and elegance have no race. So here it is the question of a life time. If there are classy White/Black/Asian/Hispanic etc. people, and there are ghetto White/Black/Asian/Hispanic people why, WHY should class or being ghetto be defined by race. Here's the answer. It shouldn't be. I use black because just because your skin is brown does not mean you are from Africa, some are Haitian, Caribbean, Cuban, etc. Most of those races do trace back to Africa, but the country in which they are their, their parents, or their grandparents are from is much more relevant than Africa. Just the same as I wouldn't call a white person, European/European American. Interjection. I don't not get offended, it doesn't make me angry, nor do I find it rude being called African American, I just mention it as a preference. I digress. Kind of. Just as if you would not like hearing, "you're not a bad driver for a woman, you cook good seasoned food for a white girl". I'd imagine if I said to you, "Girl you are so classy for a white girl". That MIGHT offend you. Therefore it offends me too.

So. In more or less words. I find being called, and Oreo, a coconut, white girl trapped in a black girls body, I act white, talk white, dress white, the whitest black person you know. I find those highly offensive, and ignorant. I simply cannot wrap my brain around it. I think it's rude, and it degrades my race. Regardless of whomever it comes from. Good intent or not. There are so many people who live in this world who live for other people. You have gays in the closest, afraid to come out. So the "act straight", you have black people who would like to get an outfit at Abercrombie but they are worried of being called "white". White people who may want to date a black person but afraid of the social stigmas associated with it. So instead they limit their life for others. While I would never live my life that way, a lot of people do. I am black, but I am human first. No one should feel as if they have to be a certain way, because society, or stereotypes say so.

 This post comes out of frustration, not anger. I believe that talking about things is great, sometimes people don't even know what they are doing. The more we talk about things, and have conversations the more human we are to each other. Let's stop categorizing people, and letting stereotypes lead our judgement. Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle, we all sometimes struggle to be who we are without people's unnecessary, stupid, and offensive comments. My advice. If you are struggling to be who you are naturally. EMBRACE IT. People will judge you no matter what, don't let what peoples opinions are stop you from living your life! If you are black, and ghetto you get a hard time, if you are black and educated your white. If you are gay, you are a polygamist, you love bondage, or maybe you secretly still love Pokemon. Be you. Be yourself not what others what to see. You have nothing to lose but your chains, you have the world to win. My name is Allison, I am black. I love fashion. I love diction, and writing. I love school. I love Urban Decay makeup. I love mani/pedis. I have an obsession with s'mores. I love learning new things. I love being outdoors. I love music, all types of music. I play the violin. I love life. I love Chad. I love handbags, and dresses. None of those things should strip, or diminish my race. You see all these things just make me a 24 year old woman, a 24 year old black woman, who is simply living her life the only way she sees fit.



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