So Now That The Honeymoon Phase Is Over, is Your Relationship Done As Well?

Ahhh the blessed honeymoon stage:) The stages of relationships are apart of the relationship cycle. They are natural, and innate to the relationship. Some couples stay in certain stages for a while, and some couples speed through, and some couples miss a couple... While there is no model for the perfect relationship cycle, certain things are ideal. The honeymoon stage, is typically the first stage of a relationship. It typically lasts for a short period of time after the "L" word comes out, somewhere between meeting the parents, and hopefully before you get too serious. The end of the honeymoon stage to me is crucial to the overall survival of the relationship. Once the honeymoon stage ends, you get a raw unbiased look into the reality of your relationship. Some may stay in denial that their relationship is over thus leading possibly to an unhappy marriage, possibly divorce. For some it is a realization that their relationship will have a good shot of flourishing for years to come.

Timing is always key in life. Similarly the same goes for a relationship too much too soon, can flood your honeymoon stage of non-existent falsities that make you feel like your relationship is real. When it's well, not. The honeymoon phase is undeniably happy, and seems seemingly perfect. However, pretending that you are still happy after the honeymoon phase is over is neither productive or healthy. So how can you tell that you are still in the honeymoon phase? A tall tell sign is that in your eyes your partner can do no wrong. Now to a certain extent this idea is cute, but realistically we all mess up and you should never let your partner walk all over you just because you love them so much. Another sign is that you see your relationship as perfect, and staying that way for the rest of your relationship days. Similarly, people in the honeymoon stage often see they may see marriage as care bears jumping on clouds/with a lot of the Notebook/the love of Jack and Rose minus the tragedy. Once you become more realistic about what marriage actually is, the more realistic you become about the person you are with; and whether or not they would be someone you would spend the rest of your life with. Never settle. Never, please never settle.

It's important to analyze what your relationship is like once the honeymoon stage is over. Be realistic about the overall forecast for your lives as a couple, and don't be afraid to end it. Finding your soul mate is like trying on shoes. If you decide to stay after you face terribly trying challenges after the stage is over it's like being a size 6.5 and squeezing your foot into a 6. Yeah sure you can get your foot in, and it appears that it will work. But try to run a mile in those same shoes I bet you, you wouldn't make it a quarter of a mile. Similarly, with your relationship if you try to make a relationship work that doesn't fit it will never fit no matter what. Sure you he/she maybe hot, you may feel like you will never find anything else or better. Remember just because you squeeze into something, doesn't mean it fits. But that is fictitious allusion. So wake up and smell the roses. Get your hooves out of those, shoes and find something that works for YOU. It doesn't matter how nice or cute those shoes are, if you still decide to get them they will hurt one day you will get tired of wearing them, and take them off. You'll probably then ask yourself, "Why the hell did I put myself, and those poor shoes through that for so many years?".

I think this a good lesson throughout life. The honeymoon stage isn't just exclusive to relationships but it relates to many things. Take your job for example. Doing what you love is so important to the vitality of your life. Sure the pay may be great but one day you're going to realize you would of taken a pay cut all so that you would had not gone through life miserable. Just think about things you loved a lot in life at one point. A great way to put into perspective whether or not you are still in the honeymoon phase or stark denial is looking at your past. History plays a great role, in the way your future lays out. Look at the type of people you have dated before, human is to fall for the same types of people over and over again. Sometimes they are a little hotter, more rich and seem to hide those same traits better but they are still the same pieces of shit you have been picking out the past decade. Case in point don't let the honeymoon stage fool you, it could be nothing more than a mirage in a dessert storm. Just because you love someone doesn't mean it's right. Make sure you are able to look past the curb appeal, and make sure the root of the relationship is healthy for not only you but your partner as well. Ending a relationship doesn't mean you failed, on the contrary it in my opinion is winning. Make sure you are not compromising  your beliefs, and happiness just for the sake of being in a relationship. Stay confident, and focused. Don't become a victim of the honeymoon phase, enjoy it while it lasts but don't let it fool you. Never lose sight of your happiness, and the end goal.

-reliably yours till blog do us part <3


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